Help with relationships in Brighton and Hove
Relationship difficulties can effect both your personal and work life:
Partner and Ex-Partner Relationship Problems
This can involve all aspects of difficulties that can arise in an intimate relationship including the
difficulties around the relationship with an ex partner. I have worked with both the victims of abuse and the
perpetrators of abuse within relationships, including domestic violence. The problems here can be around a need
for power, to be in charge, knowing what is best for both of you, sometimes regardless if you are still
together, and about not looking stupid, about staying together at all costs or getting back together.
On the other hand the difficulties can be about feeling bullied, bossed about, never being trusted, endless
arguments, or too fearful to argue at all, disagreements about money, your family and friends, threats. Living
with grumpiness, 'looks', being ignored, sarcasm, being left alone, battles around the children may feature
here. Whatever your situation, I can help you to locate the real heart of the matter for you, giving you time to
express your feelings and thoughts, raising your self-esteem and helping you look at options for any change.
Working with individuals who want to stop domestic abuse would be cognitive behavioural. Through our
conversation we build trust and rapport. This allows for an honest and safe environment where its ok to look at
all aspects of domestic control including, sometimes, in very small subtle ways, in such behaviours as
intimidation, coercion, money, co-parenting, isolating. We examine how to live an everyday life, without resort
to abuse, by discussing and practising up to eleven different skills such as positive self-talk, acknowledging a
partner's fear and anger, communicating thoughts and feelings, and assertive behaviour.
The work allows
you to have better quality relationships not only with partners but children, colleagues, parents and friends.
It means a happier more fulfilled life. Consistently people who have this counselling say they wish they had
benefited from it at an early age.
I work with individuals rather than couples.
Family Relationship Problems
Overcoming and managing difficulties with:
- step parents
- parents' partners
Such difficulties can come out as isolation, loss of contact, lack of communication, awkwardness, undermining,
arguments, money matters, bullying, canceling / re-arranging meetings.
What I can do for you is to help
you get in touch with your thoughts and feelings regarding the current matter and help you to understand what is
really going on with the difficulty. With the trust and rapport that builds between us we can feel safe with one
another and speak very honestly about the problem and how to change things, if they can be changed, or accept
aspects that cannot be changed.
Work Relationship Problems
Overcoming and managing difficulties with colleagues, supervisors, managers etc. Here difficulties can be
isolation, poor communication, criticism, complaints, too long working hours, grievances, bullying, lack of
decisions, money matters, undermining, agreements not being kept.
How I can help you here is by helping and supporting you seek the heart of the problem, by our honest, frank,
conversation based on trust and looking at ways you might manage the associated feelings and deciding on any
response to the issue at work. Through our professional relationship, I can offer insights, comments and ideas
about where things may be going wrong, any patterns or links with the past which will empower you to move
forward, more self-aware, and confident about what the problem is and how you want to address it.